Who Are You?
December 12, 2012 § 13 Comments
Lately, I’ve been trying to identify who exactly I am as a writer. I might need to clarify that a bit. I know what types of stories I write. I know the tone that I attempt to create when writing those stories.
Additionally, I know who I am as a person. Professionally and within my family I know my roles. I’m confident and comfortable in those roles.
The question that I am facing involves who I am as a writer. More importantly, what are the parts of me that I make available to those who read my work?
In general, I am a very private person. Always have been. I’m introverted and cautious. It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people and open up. So, sharing a bit of me with readers and other writers is unsettling. I want to let people get to know me as a person and writer but I’m conflicted at the same time.
I’ve mentioned before that I can’t go into detail about my career. That’s one thing that will not change. I can, however, talk about psychology and the mental health field in general. And I have. I’ve written before about going to work behind a fence and walking the yard with criminals. I can talk about that a little although it will be vague.
Hmm, I’ve told you that I have a son who is almost three. He is a bright light after a gray day at work. He has me totally in awe of him.
What else? I’ve been married to the same man for 10+ years now. This is my only marriage. We’ve been through a lot and we keep learning everyday.
I worked hard for my Master of Science degree and my concealed carry license. I value education, family, honesty, loyalty, hard work, curiosity, creativity, tolerance, respect, and faith. I cannot tolerate dishonesty, prejudice, and laziness. I believe that people can change if they want to but it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. I have learned that I cannot change anyone.
I am afraid of spiders and failure. I hate the idea of putting my all into something and failing at it.
I’m not happy with how I look right now. Enough said about that.
One secret about me that not too many people know: I’m a pool shark. Oh, yeah. I can play 8-ball, 9-ball, straight pool, you name it. I’m a little out of practice right now but watch out! I can still hold my own and I have the trophies to prove it.
Well, I’m not sure what else to say so I guess that means I said all I need to right now. Let me know if there is anything I left out.
By the way, who are you?
Though I feel a little bit hesitant to open up this much about who I am, I value the drive toward increased openness that guided you to do this post. I think you are one of the most interesting persons I’ve read about, and one of the most matter-of-fact and honest. As to who you are as a writer, I think that as I’ve found with most writers whose work I’m familiar with from elsewhere, you may well find over time that you change as that particular person who writes, change with each book and each character you create. At least, this has been the case for me, and for the writers whom I feel I know well. Does this make sense in terms of what you know about yourself? Or am I way off base?
I think you’re right. We never stop developing. As we change over time so does our writing. No matter how hard we try not to, we put a little of ourselves into our stories and characters.
What Emma wrote about herself I true. I like to believe I have a little to do with it. I’m a Viet Nam veteran a biker I can hold my own at pool. I’m a grandfather and her dad. What else can I say except I’m proud of her.
Aw, thanks!
I am her Aunt and I am also very proud of her.
Feelin’ the love!
The caution is warranted when sharing over the Internet, especially when information you divulge could be used for dubious purposes.
One thing I can definitely say: I create my story worlds in ways that I know I would not be able to survive in it.
If I think of anything you left out, I will email you about it so those naughty hacker folk do not get the info easily =)
I like how you said you create worlds that you would not be able to survive in. What a great way to challenge yourself and your characters.
I’m very private and choose not to talk about my job because I really can’t. I can tell you what I do, but mentioning my employer is against policies. I wouldn’t even if it weren’t; it’s not all that important. I’m strong, determined, and I like to keep it at that. Writing is my way to accept the world as it is happiness, pain, agony and embarrassment. I’m proud of who I am. I’ve never done anything illegal, but I still consider my self to have been a belligerent teen, but then I wonder, who wasn’t? I deserved a bar of soap or two, but guilt is a much better punishment! My writing reflects my views and feelings–what my characters do is most likely something I could see myself doing in that situation. I think that’s the deepest readers need to know about me. I’m honest and I have integrity.
You are a great role model for the young adults who read your books!
Aww, thanks!
Hey Emma,
Nice job opening up so much in this post! I think most writers are introverts and naturally uncomfortable with opening up. But, then, once we cross the publishing finish line, we’re pretty much forced to open up. Otherwise, no one will know us or be as likely to care for our work and become long-time followers/supporters. People want to feel like they’re part of your tribe, and they can’t do that if they don’t know you.
For me, once I become a publisher with the newspaper that I started, I decided that everything I did — whether it was an email I sent or a private conversation I shared — was for public consumption. And what I mean is, I’ve gotten in trouble sharing things I thought was confidential when they were forwarded by e-mail or stated behind my back after a “friend” broke my confidence.
So, I adopted a “publishable policy,” for lack of a better word. And for everything I do, I imagine it being printed on the front page of the newspaper that we compete against. (And, there’s a chance they would publish it — they’re not fans of mine.)
So, when you assume everything you do will eventually end up on the front page of something, you rein in your remarks and avoid saying and doing stupid things. At least, that’s my experience.
Because the reality is that if you strike it big, you’re going to have reporters and critics going through all your internet presence looking for dirt. So, just always be your awesome self and don’t worry about it. Be true and keep working at opening up. And remember, EVEN if you do write or say something stupid, as long as you have a tribe and apologize, your name will likely be fine. We can all name dozens of popular celebrities who make mistakes or get caught, but as long as they stay real, they generally stay popular.
Well, this comment is entirely too long, but I enjoyed getting to know you better. : )
Stan
That’s really great advice. It makes sense to keep in mind that everything has the potential to be public and published. Very smart. Thanks!